New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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