I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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