I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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