Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
