You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize