He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he quoted the bible to break up with me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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