I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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