Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
