there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
