I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
