you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
