I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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