Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
