think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i think my cat just said my name.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
