Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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