i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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