I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
