Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
