i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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