Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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