those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
