afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
