Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
