can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
