Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Someone shit on the floor
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
