My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
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