Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
