i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
