i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize