its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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