i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
