You can't motorboat a personality
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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