You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
