is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize