we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
