i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
