I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
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