I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
