Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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