I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
