Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize