Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize