It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
