So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
These tits shall not be calmed
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
