it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
