He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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