Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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