we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So much rum. So many feels.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
