discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
