he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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