You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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