You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
