Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
