Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize