Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
