I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
