I hate all girls vehemently.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
