a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
