Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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