I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
